Runner’s Log 10/4/08 - 10/12/08

Cassendre Xavier is a chyk who does stuff and thinks too much. [Complete bio at the end of this here thingie.]


04 Oct 08
[Total running time: 15 minutes. Tension headache – felt in better shape than at the last run.]

Knew when headed to Philly this weekend that I’d run along Kelly Drive. Half a block down from the Black Women’s Arts Festival office (which was where I’d be spending much of today) there’s a body of water and all kinds of inviting foliage, tons of runners, walkers, and cyclists. I used to always say when coming here to work, “I really should come here sometime to enjoy the view,” but I never did. I only passed it on the way to and fro. But coming all the way from New York city is different.
I brought my running shoes with me. At first they were in a bag, but then I realized I wanted to show them off, the way I do my yoga mat. So I freed them from the bag and tied them by lace to my strap of the outside of my tote bag/purse. Now, dangling from my bag as I walked was public proof that on occasion, I actually exercise.
When I got to the office, I picked up my mail. The Butch Cookbook arrived and looked fabulous! I checked out my entry “Semi-Raw Chocolate Fudge” and saw that my recipe had been “femme-tested”. I also looked for the pictures which are on their website and found none. A big, hefty book. Much mention in it of The Alice B. Toklas Cook Book which I just so happened have been reading and enjoying for months. I made a mental note to add The Butch Cookbook to my bibliography. Info: www.butchcookbook.com.
Then I put on my running shoes and right away went to meet the river. I saw, finally, my first black woman runner, and made this new discovery: I want to be a cyclist!
Cyclists have the coolest outfits, the coolest gear, make the best impression, and have less impact on their knees (I’m guessing).
Unlike running, I feel confident that I could hold my own in speed and endurance with cycling, and much more quickly meet my fitness goals.
Lowest on the public fitness totem pole? Speed walking. Impact-wise, it may be the best way to work out (second only to swimming) but sure is funny-looking.


07 Oct 08

[15 minutes total running time. Tension headache – felt the same as at the last run, slightly better because of the Powerade :-).]

TOTAL RUNNING TIME
Writing “total running time” makes me very happy because it’s the same thing each track gets on a full-length record. I remember figuring out the TRT on The Whittenberg Sessions and every time I typed it into the computer for each forthcoming CD it was exciting and fulfilling.


LESS, NOT MORE, SUPPORT
I think I’ll wear a measly 2, instead of the vice-like 3 bras I’ve been wearing to run. The tightness, while even an earthquake or Zeus himself couldn’t shake them, made me breathless, and not in a good way. I want to breathe, and if that means I have to bounce a little more in order to free up my diaphragm, then so shall it need to be.


MY FIRST DOM
I had another pleasant memory on my run today: passed by a pricy wine shoppe – as I always do. This time I looked a little more, imagining that I was rich and had a cellar. Then I saw the Dom Perignon vintage champagne in the window. I flashed back to my move to Ahimsa (a dreamy 7-person women’s collective household I lived in for 4 of the happiest and most fulfilling years of my life) back in 1991. It was my first move from my folks house, and into the big world. One of my dearest friends brought me a bottle of Dom to celebrate. I was and am still deeply moved by his gesture. I kept the bottle for years as a keepsake and decoration. I kept a candle in it, which I would on occasion light. Hadn’t thought of that for many years, that Dom and my friend’s gesture. And haven’t seen a bottle of it since. But that’s gonna change, my friends… that’s a gonna change – whoo-hoo!
[P.S. And if you thought that by “Dom” I was going to refer to my first Dominant boyfriend, well, surely I would more respect than to refer to him as “Dom”, wouldn’t I? :-) And trust me, when I get to talking about those years, I certainly will not keep them to brief paragraphs.]


BLACK WOMEN SPOTTED
…just going about their business or pushing caucasian children in strollers, but not running.


A TIME TO RUN
After tweezing my face, drinking Powerade (which the raw vegan side of me doesn’t approve of but the cooked/meat eater side finds very effective if drunk 30 minutes prior to exercisal activities) and other such glamorous things to prepare for my run, I noticed it was not yet time to run and be out among the after work throngs. I am combining my efforts when I run. I do it for exercise (and of course to write this cool blog) but I also see it as an opportunity to possibly meet Someone Special (hence the cute ‘do and eyeliner, heh-heh!). So I try to be aware of when and where I run.
It was before 5pm and at first I thought, “There won’t be many guys out – they’re all at work.” But I kept thinking “So what? I want to go now, so I’m going to go now.” Then I remembered in Ginnie Sayles’s book “How to Marry the Rich” she says that it’s best to go out when everyone’s at work because that’s generally when the rich come out to run the few errands their staff aren’t running. They do that because it’s less crowded that way.
I remember when I’ve been a full-time self-employed artist that I’ve done the same thing – I’ve gone to do laundry on a weekday at noon as opposed to a weekend, because I know I’d have the place virtually to myself. Same thing with shopping for food – I’d go between 1pm and 3pm or so.
So before 5pm I went running and witnessed, inhaled the auras of, and felt myself among the monied.

TECHNIQUE & LAUGHTER
Usually about 5 or 6 blocks into my run, I start to laugh. This time I noticed at nearly the end of my run that I hadn’t laughed. I decided it might have something to do with technique.
In Philly on Saturday when I ran across Falls Bridge along Kelly Drive, I saw a woman running with her legs more bent at the knees than mine were when I ran. I attempted to copy her style, which I’ve found more comfortable and having (seemingly) less impact on my knees, which is good, because I’m both a heavy girl and my shoes are far from new and in tippy toppy shape.
Tonight as I ran, I guessed that when children run in play, they don’t jog, and that may be why I laughed during the faster, higher impacted actual running (albeit slowly), and not when I was using the newer model of sensible mature jogging. I implemented my theory and was giggling again in no time.

Altogether an effective run. I took many less walking breaks, and felt my heart beating fast and steady from beginning to end.


09 Oct 2008

[Total Running Time: 10 minutes. Other black female runners sighted: 0. I was just thinking about two guys I know who keep running logs – both white, and how silly it would be if they both always included how many, if any at all, other white guys they saw out running: “Other white males running: 3. White male runner sighting: 4, etc.”]

Huffy and puffy with mild chest pain. Feel so out of shape but so proud and happy to have dressed and gone running when I could’ve stayed home and slept after a long day at a stressful job. Am thinking it would be really great to write shorter logs that were filled with more actual exercise.
Stepped in dog doo!! Occupational hazard of running at night as opposed to in daylight. Didn’t get cute to run tonight. Felt closer to God and Self as a result. Just doin’ it for the health of it tonight. I want more frequent entries. I want longer running times, too, but I’m satisfied with my progress so far.


12 Oct 2008

[Total Running Time: 10 minutes. Black female runner sightings: 0.]
My God, am I dying? I felt like I was dying out there – chest pains – a huffin’ and a puffin’ – could barely catch my breath. Feel like I’ve gained 4-5 lbs in the last two weeks eating chicken and dumpling stew, garlic knots, and late night candy of the gummal sort (Gummie Bears, Lifesaver Gummy Berry flavor). I love the clear ones. You know how celebrities, some of them anyway, have that thing where they ask, or make people do stuff for them like pick out certain color candies and fill big bowls with them and put them in their green rooms? Well, when it’s my turn, if I’m raw vegan, I should probably say “when I’m raw vegan” it’ll be one thing, but if I’m not raw and I’m eating candy, I will request, or demand bowls of clear gummy anything. The clear ones are SOOO GOOOD. So I buy the bags, pick out the clear ones, and pile the clear ones by my pillow and read while I munch and marvel whether this one is supposed to be white grape and what’s that one supposed to be and what chemicals are in there but my don’t they know how to make those chemicals taste great and then I go to sleep and hope I don’t get cavities. Real smart, huh? Well, the tooth angels must really love themselves some Moi because I’ve made it this far with n’eer a single cavitational unit so go figure. In all fairness, I never regularly ate candy in bed before, either. This is a new thing…just this past couple of weeks. But I’m the Queen of Digressment… I’ve been eating a lot of white flour, sugar, and salt. Not good. But I got myself out running tonight, and that’s very, very good. Ain’t too proud to say I walked the entire way back, but it was either that or croak unglamorously in sneaks. Okay, maybe I’m being a little dramatique. I felt pretty bad while running. Not all was uncomfortable. The walking part was nice…and then of course there are always the…

Highlights:
~Look, ma, no dog poop! They key, apparentment, is to run no later than 6pm. That way, I can see where the goshdarned heck I’m goin’ and what the goshdarned heck I’m steppin’ in.
~Ran next to three cute guys running (a different guy, three separate occasiones). Well, I ran past them. But they did notice Moi’s cleavage (pronounced “clay-VAHJ”). Spaghetti straps and lace really flatter Moi. Felt good to be out running next to some boy candy for a change. After all, I’m not (only) doing this for my health ;-)


Links that care:
Two White Guys Running! (The original inspiracciones, if you will, of this Runner’s Log.)
Steverino (not his real name – just tryin’ to annoy him!) http://www.myspace.com/thescaduto
Bri-ski (again, taking crazy liberties, heh-heh!) http://www.myspace.com/brianloebig


(c) Copyright 2008 by Cassendre Xavier a.k.a. Amethyste Rah. All rights reserved.


Cassendre Xavier is a self-described “renaissance negresse”. Although she also enjoys acting and making visual art, this first generation American-born citizen of Haitian and Chinese heritage is mainly a musician and a writer. As a singer-songwriter/guitarist, Cassendre has released 7 albums of music described as “a cross between Tracy Chapman, Sade, and Enya” (Borders Music Expert Steven M. Wilson). Her sound has also often been compared to that of Roberta Flack, Joan Armatrading, Joni Mitchell, Pheobe Snow, and India.Arie, among others. Her latest musical recording, “Live at Tin Angel” was honorably mentioned as #9 of “Top 21 Local LPs of 2007” (M.J. Fine, Philadelphia City Paper). Under her self-assigned soul name Amethyste Rah and featuring music of light by Thaddeus (Sanaya Roman), she has a growing line of spoken word guided meditation recordings called “Affirmations for Survivors”, the first two being “Spirituality” and “Self-Love”. Her “snappy and redeeming” (Karen Gross, Philadelphia City Paper) multi-genre writing has been published nationally in various literary anthologies and periodicals, as well as previously self-published chapbooks “secrets & lies: poetry and other words” and “Making of a Woman/Artist: a book for every black girl and every black woman who has ever wanted to be an artist”. She wrote, directed, and starred in a 5-actor play called “Sex for Survivors” which ran for three days in the Philly Fringe Festival 2003. An award-winning cultural arts advocate, Cassendre is the founder and former director of several arts initiatives in Philadelphia including the Women’s Writing & Spoken Word Series (Robin’s Bookstore, 2002-2006) and the Black Women’s Arts Festival (The Rotunda and other venues, 2003-present). She received a $15,000 Leeway Transformation Award in 2005 for her work in art and change. Now reinventing herself as a musician and writer in her native city of New York, Cassendre practices an active, raw vegan lifestyle, braiding her own hair extensions, and getting as many naps and hot dates in as possible. Visit often at www.cassEndrExavier.com.