Me! Me! Me! A Cassendre Xavier Museletter
The “Scratch Startage (aka Startery)” ediccione, if you will. (As it were.)
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1) WHO IS CASSENDRE XAVIER?
2) GREETING
3) UPCOMING MUSICAL PERFORMANCES & MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKINGS (AKA “SPEAKERY”)
4) STARTING FROM SCRATCHERY UNITS
5) AGE BEFORE BEAUTIFICATIONAL PORPOISES
6) BLACK WOMEN'S ARTS FESTIVAL NEWSLETTER SEPTEMBER 2, 2012
7) RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE MUSELETTER/CATALOG – SEPTEMBER 2, 2012
8) AMRITA WATERFALLS – WITH PLEASURE MUSELETTER SEPTEMBER 3. 2012
9) FAREWELL BLESSING
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CONTENTS OF TABLE
1) WHO IS CASSENDRE XAVIER?
Cassendre Xavier coined the term "renaissance negresse" in 2002 to describe her work as a musician, mult-genre writer and community cultural arts organizer. A 1st-generation American-born citizen of Haitian & Chinese heritage, she is a Brooklyn, NY native who has made Philadelphia her home since 1990.
Her 6 independently-released albums are described as "a cross between Tracy Chapman, Sade & Enya" (Borders Music Expert, Steven M. Wilson). She also creates spoken word guided meditation and affirmation recordings under the name Amethyste Rah and erotic writing under the name Amrita Waterfalls. The founder and director of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002) as well as Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003), Cassendre is a recipient of a $15,000 Leeway Transformation Award for her work in art and social change. For more information, please visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.
2) GREETING
Well, helloooooo, m’wee pupperlings, how are ya? Yo soy muy allegra to be here today, writing to you as brings joyal units to mine heartal reggione, if you will. (As it were.) Why is it I wait sooooo long (in this case, many months, I believe, yes?) to write this partickler muselettohr? Why do we let joyous moments be so few and far between in our lives? Is it because we’re so used to struggle and strain that we’re out of the habit of pure and continued enjoyificaccione? Methinks that is the case with Moi. Because, every single time I sit down to write this thing, within mere minituals, I am filled mit zie glee. But do I schedule to do it again in, say, 4 weeks? Nein. So you know what I’m gonna do now? I’m gonna schedule it. Hold on, wait a second… let’s get the datebook… Be right back… Okay, I’ve done it! Scheduled to write another Me! Me! Me! in 4 weeks or less. Dear lawd, gimme the strengf to do it!
Okay, now, let’s see, what have I been upta… What can I be a sharin’ with you fine folkseses? Hmmmm….
Well, let’s start with were you can see or hear me live. Please note some new dates have been added since my recent email to you fine folkseses. And, sadly, I’ve chosen to cancel my performance with my friend Rupert Wates this Friday 9/7 at Crossroads Coffeehouse on accounta my Main Squeeze suddenly surprised me with a weekend getaway in the country! We met at the 7th Annual Poly Living Conference this past February (that’s the link to the 8th Annual, also in Philadelphia, February 8th – 10th, 2013), and he’s taking me to the 26th Annual Polyamory Retreat in NY. Yo soy muy looking forward to it! (Please do go to Rupert’s show anyway if you’re in town. You’ll be so glad you did!)
3) UPCOMING MUSICAL PERFORMANCES & MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKINGS (AKA “SPEAKERY”)
Tuesday, Sept 11, 2012
10pm - No Cover - 21+ w/ID
Guest artist at The Magic Hour hosted by John Francis
Fergie's Pub
1214 Sansom Street, Philadelphia, PA 19107
(215) 928-8118
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Monday, Sept 24, 2012
6pm
Guest on the Blog Talk Radio show "It's All About You"
Hosted by Darien K. Marshall and Darius L. Jones.
I'll be talking about "Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 13"
from the concepts of sin and hell (or lack thereof) to the
importance of guilt-release and the radical acceptance
of one's entire being, including sexuality, spirituality, and
things we don't like about ourselves (the shadow, etc.).
www.blogtalkradio.com/itsallaboutyou
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Tuesday, Oct 9, 2012
10pm - No Cover - 21+ w/ID
Featured artist at The Magic Hour hosted by John Francis
Fergie's Pub
1214 Sansom Street, Philadelphia, PA 19107
(215) 928-8118
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Thursday, Nov 15, 2012
9pm No Cover
Cassendre Xavier with special guest Patty Keough from Boston, MA
Tea Lounge
837 Union Street
Brooklyn, NY
(718) 789-2762
4) STARTING FROM SCRATCHERY UNITS
It’s time for me to go back to the drawing board as an artist. Even though I’ve been at it since I moved to Philadelphia in 1991, and I’ve done some stuff that fills a bio and makes me “look good on paper,” heh-heh, I have come to a fork in the road, and, as Yogi Bera said, I’m gonna take it. What does that mean? That means not engaging in any laurel-restage (aka “laurel-restery”). It means teaching myself to be in the habit of discipline as an artist and it mostly means getting back to the joy, the bliss that I started Joseph Campbelling (he said “Follow your bliss” and now it’s on one third of all the bumper stickers in the world) in my late teens and seem to have stopped somewhere around my mid-to-late 30s (I’m a youthful and vibrant 43, by the way). Time to get back to following my bliss, not just doing art that will make a living for me, and not just focusing on survival at the cost of my art. For the last several years I have made very little art, because I’ve been doing a little thing I like to call, “Keeping a roof over my head.” Can you relate? But no more. Time to follow my bliss again. And getting used to this idea has led me repeatedly back to one place: my youthery areas. As in my days of youngerness.As in, before people started calling me “m’am.” As in, before I started considering dying my pubes. (What? Too much? :-)
5) AGE BEFORE BEAUTIFICATIONAL PORPOISES
I’m not your typical 43-year old. Having begun the raw vegan path in 2005, and thankfully having young-ass-lookin’ relatives and ancestory, types, I don’t really look it. I flood my innards with living, plant-based objectories on a regular basis, I have a rockin’ sex life (oh yeah, I said it), I have rarely used foundation in my life (something I think significantly adds to the aging process of a chyk’s facery unit), so I kinda feel and project I’m more like 26. However, I’m not 26.
Now, folks in their 20s look like “kids” to me. And since I prefer to date men who are usually about 10 years older than my actual age, sometimes things happen that remind me that I’m not 26. For instance, at dinner the other day, my Main Squeeze and I were dining with two strangers (communally-seated restaurant) and one of them asked him, “Do you still work?” As in was he retired. He’s only 54! Anyway, I’m not in my 20s and sometimes I see that.
A friend of mine who is his early 40s and also in the performing arts world (dancer and choreographer) said he noticed a difference, too. He said that when he was in his 20s, people would applaud and encourage him a lot more. Now, folks just kind of shrug in a “ho hum,” nothin’ new here, kind of way. Which sucks, because he’s still a working artist and his expenses haven’t changed.
When I heard that, it made me think back to my days as a newbie performer. People do encourage you more when you’re younger. I’ve also noticed that when I go out for certain jobs, such as barista, for example, I find I’m passed over for younger folks, even though I’ve worked as a barista four times, at two places, meaning I went back to work at both places.
I need to find a new niche for myself. And that will come through my work, not through direct efforts at designing a path or plan for myself. Perhaps someday or even sometime soon I will know more what to do and maybe I will be able to design a path or plan for myself, but right now I am so starting at the beginning.
I used to tell friends that as a late bloomer in many ways I’m really lucky. I have the best of both worlds. In the dating world, I have the benefit of knowledge about STIs (sexually transmitted infections, formerly known as STDs – sexually transmitted diseases), how to avoid date rape, and sophisticated communication skills, self-love, etc. But because I was so inexperienced in some ways, I still get to have the same butterflies in the stomach type of excitement I had as an adolescent and teenager. I’m expecting it to be the same with my art career. I have done some things. I have a decent looking bio. But I haven’t released an album in 3 years. I haven’t self-published or submitted my writing to a publisher in even more years. I haven’t auditioned as an actress in even more years than that, and I don’t even remember the last time I picked up a paintbrush, smelled paint fumes, felt my fingertips stroke across a blank canvass, get chalky with coal or dig into some clay. It’s time to play again, and one of the things that will inspire me is reading a lot about late bloomers like me, and thinking about classic late bloomer successes, such as that of Rodney Dangerfield. One of the greatest comics of all time, having inspired others such as Chris Rock, who names him as his number 1 comedic hero, Rodney was a late bloomer. He was married and selling door to door while in his so-called middle age and doing comedy on the side. One day he decided to change his look. He started wearing suits on-stage, and the rest, as they say, is history. Changing my look is one thing I know I want to do. I’ve been afraid to, but guess what, life has gotten, umm, how you say, “challenging” enough for me to make some major changes. So I’m not going to promise when or how but you are probably going to start seeing a newly self-expressed Moi at some point. I’m going back to my younger self to remind me of why I got on this road to begin with. At age four I was writing love letters in cursive to a grown-ass man. In Haiti, kids start school as soon as they can talk, so I started reading and writing at age three. The deud was a friend of the family and I assure you there was nothing creepy going on. He was just foin (blackspeak for “fine”) and I gently cradled a massive crush on him until my teens. From around age nine I started writing poetry. Around 15 I took journalism in high school and wrote for the school paper. I remember writing about music and George Michael, a major crush of mine at the time. At twenty-one I started submitting my writing to magazines and anthologies, mostly LGBT and/or feminist, spiritual, humorous. Basically, I’ve been writing since I could breathe. It’s a way of life for me. As is music. I want to get back to that. Making art my way of life. How can it not support me then? Even if it doesn’t, I must do it, because as with the color of my skin or the sound of my voice or the way I like sauce with rice, it is who I am, and if I don’t express who I am, I will suffer and limit the joy life has in store for me. Going back to my youth to remember my joy is the key.
6) BLACK WOMEN'S ARTS FESTIVAL NEWSLETTER SEPTEMBER 2, 2012
Sometimes when people ask me if I have any children, I say that I don’t have any human children or animal pets, but I do have the Black Women’s Arts Festival, which I’ve considered to be my child since around 2004 when it started losing me some hair. Yep. Something about a bald patch on your head said to me, “Mama.” If you care to read the latest on my baby, go ahead ‘n clicketh here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly/message/4474 or http://tinyurl.com/9q4qf45.
7) RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE MUSELETTER/CATALOG – SEPTEMBER 2, 2012
I do a lot of stuff. I make albums of music, guided meditations, YouTube posts of raw vegan food prep, humor, singing, I also write and publish and I’m probably forgetting something. This is a place to see it all in its magnificent, not-making-me-much-money-right-now-but-someday-that-will-all-change-dammit! splendor: http://launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/cassendrexavier/message/302 or http://tinyurl.com/8coha5d
8) AMRITA WATERFALLS – WITH PLEASURE MUSELETTER SEPTEMBER 3. 2012
I like the sex. Do you like the sex? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m coming out of the closet as a persun who likes the sex and talks about it. There are things I want to say goshdarnit. I have me some opiniones. Gots me some theorational items I’m workin’ on. And yes, I’m a testin’ them there theories. I won’t say that I’m testing them all over the place, but I will say I’m not home that often, iffn’ you gets my drift. I have a theory, for example, that my creative output ought to be linked to my sexual experiences. I have a theory that my bank balance directly reflects my public communications about my sex life. I have a theory, for example, that as I begin to speak my truth about love, sex, pleasure, and overall health, wellness, and creativity, my financial situation will bloom and grown and strong. Strong as the kind of orgasm we all enjoy. And I oughtn’t say “all.” Some of us are asexual. I have a friend who is. But most of us want it. We want it good, we want it hard, we want it gentle, and we want it as often as we can get it. That’s part of why I decided to be here on this planet this time around, to enjoy life in this capacity and share my journey.
I had a particularly curly path as an incest/child sexual abuse survivor (NOT the guy I had a crush on when I was four, okay, people! Sheesh!), so I really had to, or rather chose to, reclaim my sexuality and re-learn pleasure. I like to share the tricks of the trade. And the post-abuse traumas were serious. I had PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and vaginismus (where any kind of penetration was excruciating). I wrote an article about how to get through pelvic exams. This isn’t the typical, “how to get your man hot in bed” type of writing I do here. I also grew up a queer pagan black girl in a homophobic, religiously oppressive, white supremacist environment. I had to learn to love and accept myself in those areas as well. I grew up chubby. Hadda to, or rather, chose to learn skills to love and accept that too. And folks, I had a flat but. A tiny hiney, folks. As a black chyk. That was rough. So, I’ve become a woman who created her own religion, is happy in her body, accepts her black woman’s ass, and released almost all major feelings of guilt, shame, and physical discomfort in the sexual arena. I believe there is value in my experience, and that some folks out there could benefit from hearing its message. Plus, I just like to promote joy and what’s more joyous than great sex and healthy relationships? Lastly, I enjoy telling folks about sex-positive related books, authors, events (such as the Poly Living Conference and Polyamory Retreat I mentioned in my Greeting), and other resources. You can learn more about these things in my museletter “With Pleasure” which I write under my sexy-pseudonym “Amrita Waterfalls”. You can read the latest issue, dated September 3, 2012, here: http://amritawaterfalls.blogspot.com/2012/09/amrita-waterfalls-with-pleasure.html or http://tinyurl.com/d5utpjx
To subscribe to the “Amrita Waterfalls - With Pleasure” museletter, visit http://amritawaterfalls.blogspot.com
9) FAREWELL BLESSING
Do it. Do it. Do it till you’re satisfied…whatever it is. (Yes, those are the lyrics from a pop song, but, as with “Don’t worry, be happy,” there is true wisdom in it, n’est pas?)
Thank you again for being here. I appreciate your time and interest in my art/work, and therefore, life.
In art and community,
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician,writer,actress,fine artist) & ARTrepreneur
(Founder & Director of Philadelphia’s 8th Annual Black Women’s Arts Festival)
http://cassEndrExavier.com
Number of times the word “ass” was used in this issue: 3. Thank you. Thank you, very much. It took some doin’, but I made it through. (It’s not easy working that word into casual museletter-writin’!)
Number and types of languages completely bastardized in this issue: 6 (American-Southern, Ebonics, French, German, Italian, and Spanish).
To read archives of this and other CX museletters please visit http://cassEndrExavier.com. Never let it be said!
If you enjoyed this museletter, you may enjoy more new writing by Cassendre (aka Amrita):
FREE! New article on Wisdom Magazine’s online edition: Reframing Rejection http://wisdom-magazine.com/Article.aspx/2814
FREE! Archived Wisdom Magazine articles by Cassendre: http://tinyurl.com/cxwisdom
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Me! Me! Me! CX Museletter © Copyright 2012 by Cassendre Xavier. All rightsen reservenitzkhen. http://cassEndrExavier.com
