renaissance negresse Museletter December 13, 2010 art | inspiration | community
renaissance negresse Museletter December 13, 2010
art | inspiration | community
brought to you by Cassendre Xavier
Monday, December 13, 2010
TABLE OF CONTENTS
A) WHO IS THE RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE?
1) GREETINGS
2) BREAKTHROUGH – ART / WORK
3) BREAKTHROUGH – RELATIONSHIPS
4) BREAKTHROUGH – SURVIVORS’ MOUNTAINTOP (INCLUDING HOLIDAY TIPS FOR SURVIVORS!)
5) BREAKTHROUGH – SPIRITUALITY
6) GREEN SMOOTHIE RAW BLOG
7) ALL ROCKSTAR CRYSTAL GALLERY SHOWS CANCELLED
8) EVERY THURSDAY AT MANGO MOON
9) FACEBOOK POSTS GALORE
10) WITH A LITTLE HELP FOR MY FRIENDS
Z) FAREWELL BLESSING
CONTENTS OF TABLE
A) WHO IS THE RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE?
Haitian-American multi-media artist Cassendre Xavier coined the term "renaissance negresse" in 2002. A musician, writer, actress, and visual artist, Xavier (who sometimes works under the names Amethyste Rah and Amrita Waterfalls) says the term describes a black woman who is skilled or gifted in 3 or more arts. Xavier is a recipient of a Leeway Transformation Award for her work as a community cultural arts advocate, having founded and directed several Philadelphia arts initiatives including the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002) and the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003). She is originally from Brooklyn, NY and has resided in Philadelphia since 1990. ["Negresse, Negre: In the French- and Spanish-speaking Caribbean Islands, these words often have a connotation of affection, entirely non-racial in meaning. `Ma petite negresse, mon negre, are equivalent to `My dear, my darling, my sweet.'" � From Masters of the Dew, a contemporary classic novel by the Haitian author Jacques Roumain, translated by Langston Hughes and Mercer Cook.]
1) GREETINGS
Peaceful psychic hugs to you, Dear Readers! I always appreciate this chance to share my journey in life in hopes that my lessons and observations assist you on yours as well!
2) BREAKTHROUGH – ART / WORK
I was telling a friend tonight that the last couple of weeks have looked like this for me:
No prolonged worrying about money. (I’m not made of wood – I worry when I’m broke, just like everyone else. But I learn to let go of the thoughts when they come, and replace them with thoughts of peace, trust, and abundance.)
Increasing self-care.
Focusing on service.
Being a very giving artist.
In just giving, giving, giving, trusting that all is well and will be taken care of, and also simultaneously working on increasing my self-care, I feel a sense of peace about my life. The more I give, the less I worry that I will receive. It’s math – a universal law of physics. What comes up must come down, and what is given must at some point return.
I hope my work continues to be helpful to some, but even so as I do it much of the motivation is my own healing, and that’s how I know I’m on the right track. I am becoming less and less aware of what I’m doing. Going with the flow, the mystery, with the feeling, with instinct. Ironically, as that happens I also get more clear about what earth laws I must follow for abundance, too. I’m getting more aware about what is needed to create a captive audience, what’s needed to be financially viable, and so forth, and what I’m doing right and what I need to fix.
Oh one thing I learned is that as you open your mind more and more to believing that your dreams can come true, things happen to show you material ways that can happen. For instance, I’ve always wanted to perform with multiple vocal harmonies and play both rhythm and lead. I saw Christine Havrilla performing last night and she used a loop system that did just that. It was pretty amazing. It’s called a TC-Helicon | VoiceLive Touch - Versatile Vocal Processor & Looper (which only costs around $500 Christine says. Part of my entire lifelong childhood dream – what I thought was so impossible, costs $500!)
One of the folks there told me that another artist, Keller Williams, uses similar gadgets also to sing with himself and create many layers of sounds, too. The first time I heard such things was in the late 1990s when Caryn Lin came to play Borders Bookshop when it was in Rittenhouse Square. She played violin and used loops sequences. One of these days I’ll actually know what that stuff is called. Christine said “It’s much cheaper than bringing a choir in!”
3) BREAKTHROUGH – RELATIONSHIPS
I treat people the way my father treats me - viciously. Been working on that – how critical I am and how quick to end relationships and shove people away. I also manipulate love in relationships the way my father manipulates his children with money and promises. I was telling a friend yesterday that I want to live my life as if I have nothing. I’ve relied on my accomplishments to keep people interested in me or want to be my friend. But if I had nothing to offer, I would have to be loving and that’s all that counts anyway. No one’s gonna come to my funeral because I let them feature in one of my events or because I sang at their house or at some venue. They’re gonna come because I gave them something of value, and the only thing of true value in this life is love. Love in its many forms and colors, from acceptance to forgiveness to encouragement, etc. So that’s my goal now – to be loving in all ways, and that’s not easy, but it’s totally worth it. Also it’s good to remember that all you have to do to be lovable is be alive. You don’t have to earn love or being lovable, just as no one has to earn your love. They should earn your trust over time, and you theirs, but love should be free and abundant to and from everyone. That doesn’t mean you stay in an abusive relationship, as I recently learned, just to prove how loving you can be. Sometimes we, as survivors (and I’m learning that almost everyone is a survivor of something, even only “life”) and lightworkers/healers tend to attract people who hurt us and we stay just to prove how strong we can be, and how “good” we are that we can see the good in others. (And we also sometimes do that, I think, from a deep-seated, not yet corrected belief that we aren’t good enough to have better.) Having just gone through something like that, and becoming the kind of person who has the kind of relationships I am now spiritually aware I am worthy of, I’ve had to see that in myself and start changing it.
4) BREAKTHROUGH – SURVIVORS’ MOUNTAINTOP (INCLUDING HOLIDAY TIPS FOR SURVIVORS!)
The more I admit my weaknesses, the stronger I am, because I’m then able to build supports around my weaknesses. For instance, I am considering applying for certain services meant to assist people like me to make life a little easier. In another example, when I realized I regress very significantly after spending time at my parents’ house, I decided to take measures to make my visits there safer and more comfortable for me. It’s still very very difficult, so much so that I’m seriously considering not going there at all for a very long time, but in the mean time I’m learning things like how many hours I can be there before communications become violent. Probably the best thing that’s happened to me lately is that I realized I, or we survivors aren’t as alone as we think we are. Even if you didn’t grow up with physical, sexual, spiritual, substance abuse, neglect, or dysfunction, almost everyone has had some significant challenge in life they’re learning to live with and overcome. The more we identify with one another, the more we can give and receive help in life. And it’s always nice to feel like less of an uninvited oddball on this wacky beautiful intense planet someone long ago chose to call earth!
By the way, I used to call this feature “Survivors’ Corner” but just now I decided to uplift us way, way, up – out of the corner into the middle of the room, out of the goddamned house into the streets shouting our truths, claiming our self-worth, healing ourselves, asking for help and receiving it, and eventually getting to the top of the proverbial mountain of joy-filled living. That is so sappy I myself am ready to vomit right now. But I also know when I’m down, I will go back to that phrase over and over again, thrilled to see it there in all its syrupy glory and truth!
And in case you’re wondering what qualifies me to speak of this issue, I’m the founder and former facilitator of Sisters Healing Together - a peer support group for women survivors of incest with a special focus on compulsive overeating at the William Way LGBT Community Center of Philadelphia 1996-1999. I also did a play called Sex for Survivors which ran for 3 days in Sept 2003 of the Philly Fringe Festival, and released 2 Affirmations for Survivors CDs/downloads of spoken word guided meditations. So there
Holiday Tips for Survivors: Go with a friend or don’t go. Having a friend there cuts the spell/force field that sometimes feels like evil. I know that’s a loaded sentence, but some of you know I speak the truth of our experience. If the perpetrator is there, that’s what it feels like. If your parents live in the suburbs with limited public transportation and you don’t drive or have a car, go with a friend who drives, or arrange with a relative to leave when you want to leave. If the only relatives who could drive you tend to not leave on time, don’t go. If you decide not to go, don’t feel guilty. You can make alternate holiday plans. Follow the Jews is what I always say! Go to Chinatown for dinner and go see a movie with friends. Or take it as a day off. Stay home with Netflix. My idea of heaven? Murder She Wrote, Golden Girls, Diagnosis Murder, anything on the Hallmark Channel or Lifetime: Television for Women. All the crime shows, because the bad guys almost always get caught and the often female victims are almost always vindicated – and by the way Thank you Tyler Perry for writing in a justified stabbing death of a rapist in For Colored Girls. All my years of TV and movie watching I’ve never seen, or maybe haven’t seen enough of that kind of thing. All we’re treated to is footage of prisoners who are locked up for killing their abusers. But I digress. Holidays with the folks if you’re a survivor can be quite the challenge. Do all you can to get through it – including deciding not to go. Good luck and be good to yourself no matter what! I will be good to myself right now and say I am open to being invited to spend part of Christmas Day with folks as I’m not sure what I’m doing that day. If you’re going to the movies, or want to invite me over for popcorn and fluff TV, contact me by replying to this email or calling 215-436-9702! I also may create a Facebook event if I choose to go to the movies and invite complete strangers to join Moi. The heart will lead!
5) BREAKTHROUGH – SPIRITUALITY
Lastly, I wanted to share a bit of my spirituality, not because I feel it’s relevant to anyone, really, nor because it’s something I think should be public – it’s neither of those. I would really rather keep much of it private, but being so into visibility, and having suffered much growing up because I didn’t see many examples of people like me – whether that was black female fine artists, or black female singers who didn’t just play a tambourine, or black pagans, or hear or read about the Goddess or learn more about Angels, or openly non-heterosexual black people, or the open marriage/polyamorous relationship model, etc. all of these things – I am now a strong advocate for visibility of many kinds. So that said I would like to share that I’ve been really enjoying my spirituality lately, and found it very empowering. I would like to encourage everyone on a path that they are carving out for themselves: Believe what you believe. Do not wait or look for examples to prove to you that what you believe is correct. You may never find the proof, because certain things have happened and continue to happen to keep certain things from you. The only proof you need is what your heart tells you. Your instincts will lead you to do certain things, read certain things, go certain places and be certain ways. Do them. Do them all, and if you’re truly brave, write about them to begin keeping new records and teach them to re-kindle our stories. Invent things and expect them to last and grow, the way Kwanzaa was created. You have the power. You, in fact, are the power.
6) GREEN SMOOTHIE RAW BLOG
Weekly Weigh-In: 215 lbs. Last Week: 216. Orig: 238.
Thoughts, Feelings, and Stuff: I went to Arnold’s Way (www.ArnoldsWay.com) Saturday night with some friends. We enjoyed a lovely raw vegan dinner together, and I had my favorite Green Smoothie – a spirulina and cacao one. Soooo delicious!
My schedule is very busy and it’s hard to eat well, but I noticed it’s easier when I plan grocery shopping in advance. Also, support is essential, and I’ve been working on that.
I posted that I was seeking inspiring words and scriptures from friends, because I feel that as I get more raw and less of a food addict, I need all the help I can get to do some serious battle with fear of embracing more joy and the new, etc. One of my raw vegan friends Jon McGrath (who created the Philadelphia Raw Food Movement group on Facebook) said:
Hi Cassendre,
Sorry this email is late! I've been preoccupied with many things, including finals next week... but I hope this email finds you well. I didn't know which real email you use for personal stuff so I went with a FB message.
So I remember you asked about scriptures and other things I use to battle fear.
There are a lot of great Psalms about battling fear and relying on God. One example is Psalm 27. I recommend just going through them at checking out different ones. I don't know if you'r familiar with it, but most of the Psalms are written by David (who battled Goliath), and are in the format of a song or a poem. Most of them are David's raw emotions and his expression of those emotions directly to God.
Other things I do, which you seem to do as well, is communicate to people. If I'm feeling anxious or otherwise struggling in some regard, getting open with someone helps out a lot. It terms of being raw, if I am wanting to be all raw and am struggling with that, talking about it with someone generally helps. The key, I've found, is to talk about it as early as possible, and don't let the thought (whatever it is) incubate in your head.
Another thing I've found helps with being raw is building good memories around it. When I lived with Francesco [CX says: “Francesco Barone, who I co-billed with at www.TinAngel.com in 2006”] we would make it a point to make really good raw meals together and eat together, or sometimes go to the park, or kelly drive, or somewhere like that. Or we would have double dates and make raw food. One interesting aspect of our human nature in holding onto old ways of life, I think, is our attachment to the memories of those things. So build better memories of the new way of life! Doing this helped a lot.
Another thing I do, of course, is pray. Praying with other people is good. Also, if you're reading psalms, you can "pray through them", and change them as you see fit. Like start praying out a psalm, but then like expand on each phrase in your own words or add stuff in or whatever you want to do. This helps "get outside the box" sometimes with prayer.
That's all I can think of right now... I hope that helps! Also if you have more specific questions too, I'd be happy to tackle them since I'm not sure exactly what you needed.
Ttyl sista
-Jon
Duckling/Swan/Piece of God Chronicles (formerly Piece of Ass :-) – I’m gonna try being single for a while. Happens once every decade or so. As my self-esteem increases, so decreases my satisfaction with incomplete love affairs. Who knows what will happen next, but as I manifest my life partner, I am feeling more and more the need to clear the space thusly.
Rags to Riches Chronicles: It’s starting to be time for me to prove what I wrote about in my book Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: a Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal, that when you’re raw, nature makes sure you have all you need, and that includes money. In the meantime, I enjoyed many soft pretzels as highly economical bread and bagel substitutes, until my friend Linda Martin told me, well, I’ll show ye:
Posting for Better Health: I just ate 1 soft pretzel (bcz it's the cheapest bread/food) w/raspberry jam. (More to come in my next Museletter!)
Linda Martin responds: “It may be cheap, but it's hurting you. A lb bag of rolled oats from Nuts To You costs $0.69 and takes 90 sec to make in microwave.” [CX says: I thanked her profusely!]
Stay tuned, folks!
7) ALL ROCKSTAR CRYSTAL GALLERY SHOWS CANCELLED
I apologize for any convenience but due to scheduling issues beyond my control, I’ve cancelled all my shows there, but I highly recommend it at as a place to get your crystals, and many of the other spiritual services they provide there! www.RockStarCrystalGallery.com
8) EVERY THURSDAY AT MANGO MOON
Thai Thursdays with Cassendre!
Every Thursday 7:30PM-9:30PM No cover!
Mango Moon, Thai restaurant and bar, 4161 Main St, Philadelphia, PA 19127 Tel: 215-487-1230
http://MyMangoMoon.com
I'm performing my own original and a few cover songs with my drummer Rich Santucci (www.SantucciTrio.com). Join us and have a wonderful meal to lovely music!
9) FACEBOOK POSTS GALORE
Every week I post dozens of things on my Facebook Wall via my cellular mobile unit. I’ve decided to share some of them in my Museletter for posterity and those of you who are justifiably not playing on the Facebook playgroundal units! I put my full name after some of the quotes so that in case they’re re-posted it’s very easy to copy and paste the whole thing, to ensure the proper spelling of my name, which is, after all, one’s “brand”, if you will. (As it were :-)
Daily between 9 & 11pm I post: “What are some nice things that happened for you today?” I like to encourage folks to think about the good things that happen every day. It helps me, so I hope it helps others!
"Start failing now. You're not doing enough if your bureau isn't full of rejection slips-from publishers, agents, prospective lovers...etc.!" ~Cassendre Xavier
"Please be yourself. Please make your art, write your story, sing your song. Please say what helps you create. You can significantly influence an artist!" ~CX
Dying a full-face beard black may look half decent. Staining or penciling the visible skin underneath shiny? Not so much.
Just went produce shopping: kale, apples, limes, garlic. $5.39 www.Iovine.com
A pleasant rainy evening made enchanting by not needing to wear gloves,carry guitar nor wash off eye makeup. Also, got a letter from an inspiring artist friend.
Oh man, this is so my kind of weather - warm and softly raining. The better my self-esteem gets, the less sad I am when there's "no one" to "share" such splendid moments with. I recall learning of Oprah's "Parties for One", and get better at knowing that I am enough.
Want to rev up your social life? Send a generic "Hey watcha doin'?" text msg to 10+ people & make plans with those who respond soonest. ~Cassendre Xavier
Posting for Better Health: @6pm I drank a 24 oz spirulina-cacao Green Smoothie & ate a small plate of raw "spaghetti" ("pasta" is peeled zucchini, spiralized).
Cassendre Xavier is witnessing 2 opposite examples of coupling: one bickering loudly w/violent contempt & one sitting entwined, sharing the same meal & talking lovingly, softly.
"You give part of yourself away permanently when you do things for money, so select your work, and in some cases, relationships, carefully." ~Cassendre Xavier
“It's that time of decade to be single-not "Single & Poly", not "Single & Slutty", not "Single & Looking", just single.” – Cassendre Xavier
Someday receivng flowers may make me happier than folding lots of mine own cleane sockes,but I wouldn't bet on it.O blessed sockal units!How I loveth thyselves!
Dreamlogue & Interpretation in mere seconds-but first a reminder to incorporate night dreams into day living! Have a "dreamy" day. Blendage! (Aka "blendery" :-)
"Don't sell yrself short! Ur just like someone else I know&she's always selling herself short! Ur better than u think u are! Don't sell yourself short!" ~a fan
I tip buskers to keep my cycle of money flowing. I put 1 token in dapper Anthony Riley's case today, and 3 hours later a guy put 2 tokens in my guitar case!
Gratitudes: Paid my rent. Sold CDs. Anthony Riley tipped me $2. Opened my heart more w/forgiveness & love. Opened my eyes more. More value of self w/men&work.
..Who gets her dinner delivered to her busking station? A bitch Goddess Diva, that's who.(Why bitch? Bcz ur not a successful woman till biznessmen call u that.)
I'm a hust-loar, I'm a-I'm a hust-loar!
*Next Show* Wed Dec15, Private House Concert. Want this to be your place sometime in the future? Book in advance! cxmusic at gmail.com 215-436-9702 Pass it on!
just had a great house meeting. My suggestions to start&end w/smiles& gratitudes,have check-ins&end w/manifestation exercise w/a stack of real cash went well!
Working on "Life Skills" & "Sexuality" the last 2 of my Affirmations for Survivors guided meditation CD series is at times tough! Next I'll do "Rich&Happy" :-)
Book Recommendation: Angel Therapy by Doreen Virtue. Someday you'll be able to order cheap ass books thru my Amazon store in progress www.FabBookDeals.com!
just did the Morning Pages writing exercise from Julia Cameron's book "The Artist's Way:a Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity". Apparently I want 100% romances.
"Our lives are the direct results of our powers of concentration. You can change what your life shows by changing your thoughts and focus." ~Cassendre Xavier
Restaurant gigs are the shiznit! Customers dig the music, buy CDs, like to talk to the musicians during breaks & the best part? Guaranteed payment from venue!
"I try to be around people who are happy with who and where they are in life." ~Cassendre Xavier
“Healthy self-esteem lets rejection sting, but not linger, and certainly not affect your entire day. Must the whole world adore your lovable self? Get back on that horse, bucko!” ~Cassendre Xavier
Oh, I am so glad to be accepting the ways I authentically am and prefer to be in the world. I am making friends of a like mind all over the place!
"What kind of artist does not strive for total honesty in her work? Not a very effective one, to be sure." ~Cassendre Xavier
W/the changing technology× nothing is as it was re: artist/self-promotion,but still do it for joy,in service w/love&expect great things 4 best results.-CX
Word of the Day: "Delervous." (Adj.) Something that feels (tastes, etc.) very pleasant but has unpleasant side/after-effects or consequences. "Delervous." ~Cassendre Xavier
is taking deep breaths and appreciating Charles Aznavour.
just did the Morning Pages writing exercise from Julia Cameron's book "The Artist's Way:a Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity".Apparently I'm a very angry girl!
would really love an effin' punching bag right about now. Or to stand atop a mountain and scream. But I'm at my office with a co-worker right now. Wouldn't be prudent. And I can't stab the walls with an ice pick pretending it's someone's face as I did once at another job that had hidden walls where I could do that kind of thing. Dagnab it!! Tummy hurts.
“If God/dess is love and God/dess is everywhere why don't we see love everywhere? Because we haven't expressed it enough ourselves yet. Love is inside us.” ~Cassendre Xavier
10) WITH A LITTLE HELP FOR MY FRIENDS
Freshdirect Account for Kelli & Cheryl (Deadline to donate: Fri Dec 17, 2010, 11pm)
[Some of you may know my dear friend and former girlfriend Kelli Dunham is caring for her girlfriend Cheryl Burke who was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma in November 2010 and is responding very well to chemo. They are both under-insured freelance artists living in New York city. Their friends Mamone, Zoe, and Genne have created the following. Please read on and help if you can. I know hundreds, possibly thousands may be reading. If we all chip in a little, it will mean a lot!]
There are several of us in the Cantaloupe Attack Society that are pulling our resources together to set up Kelli & Cheryl a Freshdirect account for over the holidays. Many of you like myself will be traveling and spending time with family all over the country. Its hard when a significant % of your support system leaves town for a holiday and Kelli & Cheryl are still here with the same needs.
Freshdirect will allow their money... to go further, bodega shopping is pricey and known for small servings.
Even if Kelli orders cases of Diet Mountain Dew, they will be hauled up all of those flights of steps for them.
Freshdirect has a wide selection of local organic pre made veggie meals for Cheryl and meat ones for Kelli. Without so many people in town dropping off meals this could get them by until we all return.
Next Day Delivery as long as your order is in by 11pm
This is a complicated time of year to ask people for money, this is a confidential passing of the e- hat. No one will know how much who gave other than myself and I will not share that information with anyone. I will put a card together with everyones names that chipped in so Kelli & Cheryl do know who all helped to make this happen. Please send your donation to Helenmamone@yahoo.com (Riot Grrl Ink) will donate the paypal % that it takes so your donation will be enjoyed in full by Kelli & Cheryl.)
**Instructions:** Once you are signed into Paypal (if you don't have an account you'll have to set one up), go to "send money." In the "to" space, put Helenmamone@yahoo.com and then put the amount you want to donate in the amount box. Click the "personal" tab and make sure it's set to "gift." From there, just hit continue and follow the directions for how you want to pay and then hit 'send money.'
We will accept donations until the 17th of the month. Please email me with any questions and feel free to pass along to those that you feel would be interested ~ every drop in the bucket helps!
in rEvolution & Respect
Mamone
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House & Garden Work by Laureen Griffin www.homework.laureengriffin.com Contact us for a free one hour visitation and home assessment. We will meet with you and put together an estimate. Our work is high quality at reasonable rates
Rasa Salon & Boutique, 62 W Manheim St (Mt. Airy/Germantown area), Philadelphia, PA 19144 (215) 668-6296
www.RockStarCrystalGallery.com
http://kitholmesmusic.com/
http://christinehavrilla.com/ -#1 Favorite Local Band of WXPN Amazon Country Host Debra D’Alessandro. (2nd Favorite? A certain “Cassendre Xavier”. Wacky!)
Z) FAREWELL BLESSING
May you easily master fear releasement.
May you claim your spirituality as your own.
May you be your own authority.
May you compare yourself to no one but your dreams for yourself.
May you always know you are loved.
May all your dreams come true, surpassing all your expections.
This, or something better, and may it be for the good of all.
In art and community,
Cassendre Xavier
Humyn, Being.
www.cassEndrExavier.com
© Copyright 2010 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com
------------------------Ways to give back to the renaissance negresse-------------
Make a Paypal Donation: **Instructions:** Once you are signed into Paypal (if you don't have an account you'll have to set one up), go to "send money." In the "to" space, put cxmusic@gmail.com and then put the amount you want to donate in the amount box. Click the "personal" tab and make sure it's set to "gift." From there, just hit continue and follow the directions for how you want to pay and then hit 'send money.'
Beloved Old School Paper Mail: Send love letters, dark chocolate, French perfume and money orders PAYABLE TO: Cassendre Xavier, PO Box 30204, Philadelphia, PA 19103-8204 USA
Order CDs/Downloads: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre
Order CDs from CX Direct: http://cxdirect.eventbrite.com/
Come to see CX perform: http://cassendrexavier.com/calendar.html
Booking CX to Sing & Treating CX to Meals, Movies, Concerts Oh My! Email: cxmusic(at)gmail.com, Voicemail 215-436-9702
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posted by Cassendre Xavier @ 1:22 AM
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